im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
