I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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