At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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