Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
