All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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