I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
