so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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