i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
