Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
