So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need a burrito and a hug.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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