Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
