omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
