i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
MIDGETS
????
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
