I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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