What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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