She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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