There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
