You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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