Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
