Dual....:-)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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