whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
