Tell her she can't have a vagina
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
