Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
