Ambien. No doubt about it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize