Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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