my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize