:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
