its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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