I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
