The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
