He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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