I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
