I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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