you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
