We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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