dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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