My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
