based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
