I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize