apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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