...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
