OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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