do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
