I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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