I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
