haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
