I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
