Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
