He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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