I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
There's even glitter on my cock...
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