is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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