i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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