Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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