I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
