He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
