no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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