I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
