I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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