And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
