Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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