I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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